1:50pm – Breaking down & crying while speaking is akin to the swelling music cutting someone off during an Oscar acceptance speech.

1:51pm – Lionel Richie’s singing. I take this time to rewind my DVR to see that they’ve brought MJ’s casket to the memorial…all it takes is one fan, just one, to jump on top of it to make it feel like every italian, african-american, polish, and irish funeral I’ve been to.

2:01pm – “MJ, the greatest entertainer ever lived” Elvis fans everywhere are livid.

2:09pm – Stevie Wonder’s up. If a blind man cries, does he see it?.

2:11pm – Stevie’s head isn’t wagging back and forth as much. Even his body language is saddend by the loss of MJ.

2:14pm – Is everyone going to inject Michael’s name in to the songs they sing?. If that’s the case I hope Disturbed doesn’t show up singing “Down with the sickness”

2:16pm – It’s so great that “Kagic” showed up.

2:18pm – Magic’s MJ eats KFC story. Remarkable. I smell an emmy folks.

2:20pm – Let’s give a round of applause to them crazy mo’fos Michael’s kids are now left to deal with. Stand up dammit, STAND UP!.

2:21pm – Jennifer Hudson sings. Now this is something I’d pay total attention to.

2:24pm – Why does Mike’s voice sound like it’s coming from inside the casket?

2:28pm – Rev. Al Sharpton…why are you hollering?, the mic’s right there dude.

2:29pm – Al should plug Joe Jackson’s new record label. Cold move my friend, cold move.

2:30pm – Rev. Al earned his place in the Jackson clan with that speech…not really a good thing.

2:35pm – Jon Mayer’s up. Somewhere Jennifer Anniston is crying…that she’s no longer with him and thus not in the Staples center.

2:35pm – I’m feeling this version of Human Nature Mayer’s playing on the guitar, it’s perfect for my elevator, or my personal Doctor’s office waiting room.

2:38pm – Brooke “I said I wasen’t going to cry” Sheilds. No sexual tension between you & Mike huh?. Gee…I wonder why.

2:42pm – Mike & I, giggling like two little….yeah.

2:47pm – Jermaine’s singing “Smile”. I’m wondering if this it’ll collaspes like it does when someone somberly sings “Send in the clowns”.

2:50pm – What I wouldn’t give to be a stockholder in Kleenex this month alone.

2:51pm – MLK’s Son and daughter. Nice to know they’ve taken time off from bickering with the rest of the family to grace us with their presence. By the way I hope these two win their court battle.

3:00pm – Sheila Jackson Lee “Innocent until proven otherwise”?…beeeeeeotch please!.

3:07pm – Usher’s “my marriage was doomed from the start” up.

3:08pm – They showed a pic of Jim Henson holding Kermit while MJ was holding Kermit’s hand. How much you wanna bet MJ spoke to the puppet like it was a real 90lbs frog.

3:09pm – Don’t cry Usher, your last album wasen’t that bad.

3:15pm – Good ole Smokey. I like that suit…no homo.

3:17pm – Who brought the baby?. That’s your +1?…you’re a certified asshole and so is your kid.

3:19pm – Shaheen’s SINGING LOOK!….who?

3:20pm – Easy lil cracker, don’t try to black up the song too much and sprang your throat. Leave that up to Mariah ok?.

3:23pm – Had to interrupt this liveblog to show you this:

What a weirdo

This is Corey Feldman at the Staples center today. Are you fucking serious?. He looks like a non-blurry Michael J. Fox.

3:25pm – We are the world, I saw this coming.

3:28pm – Lionel looks bored. lol

3:35pm – “We love you Michael!!” Yeah, yeah, enough already!.

3:35pm – Jesse Jackson in the background. I hope he doesn’t do any of that ugly crying he did when Obama won on Election night. Looked like wet Playdough.

3:38pm – “Maybe now Michael they’ll leave you alone”…one word “Elvis”.

3:40pm – Paris speaks, she actually has a voice?.

3:41pm – After Paris’s speech there’s now flooding in Los Angeles.

3:42pm – “Thanks for coming out, God Bless, and goodnight”.

3:44pm – Bringing out Paris like that. That’s a “Finish Him!” type move to make everyone cry. Dirty Pool you Jacksons…dirty pool!

3:48pm – The Michael Jackson memorial is official over. I heard there’s an after party at the Latin Quarters and Bentleys. Drink’s are on you!