The Official Blog of La Mott Jackson

blame someone, be angry, talk about what a monster this person must be, arrest them, spend thousands of dollars in court cost, send him off to prison for three free meals, free medical coverage, a place to sleep and all the anal he desires…

instead of shrugging our shoulders when we thought Mother Nature was the culprit.

Let’s hope this doesn’t start a trend. A zero homeless population sounds like a great idea at first but if that happens who’s gonna water the streets with that special organic blend of viscous feces and urine in front of tourist besides failed actors on weekend meth binges?. Sure, you can use those secretly rich, rebellious white kids with the dirty dreds (also known as the fake homeless), to fill the void but they wipe afterwards, so the authenticity is all gone.

We need the homeless sometime to remind us that crazy, like Hip Hop, is a culture. That giving free readings of the bible out loud in city parks while your swollen testicle pokes out of the hole in your pant leg (by the knee area that is), is a fact of life. Not everyone can pull off growing a beard big enough to house a cat, but dammit, they can, and we should salute them for at least giving homes to animals when we can’t, Sarah Mclachlan would be proud.

So please, don’t ship off your homeless, putting them on a plane is a disaster waiting to happen. Their collection of aluminum cans shopping carts, not to mention their eclectic wet wolf scented wardrobe would tie up check-in like you wouldn’t believe. There’d be no in-flight movie to speak of, as they’d try to hog all the attention with “their brand” of entertainment. Songs about Jesus (which should only apply if the plane is bracing for a crash landing), children shaping themselves in to wheels “rolling” down the aisle, or selling stale M&M’s, stray cats on leashes…(that’s all it is people) or magic shows with dead rabbits would begin way before we reach 30,000 feet. A near endless marathon of panhandlers, walking up & down the aisle, wooden colored hand out, asking for change. I often hold my breath on the train when I see them enter till they pass me by, how the hell am I going to do that on a 3+ hour flight to Oakland?!.