The Official Blog of La Mott Jackson

Massa’s too busy groping that assa.

admin — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 17:49:21 +0000

Eric Massa likes ticklefights, naked showerfights, and ’snorkeling’. Either this guy’s gay or he’s the newest cast member of “Jackass”.

Jihad Jane – 03.10.09

admin — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 17:47:49 +0000

“Jihad Jane” plotted to kill a Swedish Cartoonist. Terrorist are so annoying, we didn’t have these issues when Snoopy battled The Red Baron.

“…and the sorries go to”.

admin — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 17:43:06 +0000

The Academy apologized for Farrah Fawcett snub, to be honest they didn’t have to. But feel free to do it for Transformers II & Pauly Shore.

Now if you really wanna give something…

admin — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 05:40:13 +0000

The Smithsonian turned down O.J.’s acquittal suit noting “it’s not appropriate, but if you have the murder weapon we’ll gladly take that”.

“Jack In The Box” never looked so Green

admin — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 06:27:21 +0000

The Burj Khalifa in Dubai is the world’s tallest skyscraper. The Human race has officially given Earth a nose to spite it’s financial face.

My Top 10 New Years Resolution Goals for 2010 by La Mott Jackson

admin — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 20:06:50 +0000

#10 – To give Cancer Alzheimer’s. Hopefully it will drink Clorox on the rocks…from a shoe.

#9 – Expose Wendy Williams as the ugly, gangly, big footed man she really is; Arsenio Hall.

#8 – Remind Amy Winehouse that even with new titties a beaten horse is still a beaten horse.

#7 – Expose child beauty pageants for what they are; secret pedophile conventions.

#6 – Out a group of sleeper cells on Twitter, causing them to blow themselves up out of shame.

#5 – Find future TV speeches on Swine Flu, replace all instances of “H1N1″ with “H.N.I.C.”.

#4 – Be “That Guy” when a situation needs it. Fuck em if they can’t take a joke. It’s MY show.

#3 – Call out bullshit the moment it happens. Not to be malicious, just honest. Get over it.

#2 – Punch Kanye in his clavicle causing it to dislocate if he acts up just once. JUST ONCE!

#1 – Emerge from The Great Depression of 2010 alive, wealthy, better, stronger, faster!!

OY-K!!

admin — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 23:56:00 +0000

You’d think with all the decades of rock throwing in Israel there’d be a farm system of pitchers from there instead of Cuba.

Get it?, heh?, heh?.

admin — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 23:53:28 +0000

That new Scope Outlast commercial with Ryan Seacrest is like a Bizarro version of his life cause it had a bunch of chicks in it…right?.

“For the ‘thing’” – from the film “Strickley Business”

admin — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 23:50:55 +0000

Accenture drops out as a sponsor for Tiger Woods. In it’s place will be Ashley Madison, Pjur Eros Bodyglide & Charmins adult wipes.

“Garcon!, more garlic bread through the bars please, thanks”.

admin — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 23:18:27 +0000

Amanda Knox is found guilty. Is an Italian prison really that bad?. They’ve got an endless supply of wine & spaghetti & meatballs for God’s sake.