Disclaimer
The opinions expressed herein are my own personal opinions and do not represent anyone else's view in any way, including those of my employer.
© Copyright 2009
The opinions expressed herein are my own personal opinions and do not represent anyone else's view in any way, including those of my employer.
© Copyright 2009
#10 – To give Cancer Alzheimer’s. Hopefully it will drink Clorox on the rocks…from a shoe.
#9 – Expose Wendy Williams as the ugly, gangly, big footed man she really is; Arsenio Hall.
#8 – Remind Amy Winehouse that even with new titties a beaten horse is still a beaten horse.
#7 – Expose child beauty pageants for what they are; secret pedophile conventions.
#6 – Out a group of sleeper cells on Twitter, causing them to blow themselves up out of shame.
#5 – Find future TV speeches on Swine Flu, replace all instances of “H1N1″ with “H.N.I.C.”.
#4 – Be “That Guy” when a situation needs it. Fuck em if they can’t take a joke. It’s MY show.
#3 – Call out bullshit the moment it happens. Not to be malicious, just honest. Get over it.
#2 – Punch Kanye in his clavicle causing it to dislocate if he acts up just once. JUST ONCE!
#1 – Emerge from The Great Depression of 2010 alive, wealthy, better, stronger, faster!!
L
You’d think with all the decades of rock throwing in Israel there’d be a farm system of pitchers from there instead of Cuba.
That new Scope Outlast commercial with Ryan Seacrest is like a Bizarro version of his life cause it had a bunch of chicks in it…right?.
Accenture drops out as a sponsor for Tiger Woods. In it’s place will be Ashley Madison, Pjur Eros Bodyglide & Charmins adult wipes.
Amanda Knox is found guilty. Is an Italian prison really that bad?. They’ve got an endless supply of wine & spaghetti & meatballs for God’s sake.
Meredith Baxter came out the closet. This makes watching “My Breast” that much hotter.
As crude as this sounds, I only want to see “The Blindside” because in the film Sandra Bullock is hot and has a nice ass.
T-Mobile said a battery for a G1 was $60. Not happening, China here I come, I don’t care if your batteries are SARS scented, it’s cheaper.
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