I just saw a man so “blick” that for a sec I thought the school crossing family was nearby.
L
Chewing tabacco – the next level of how one can make the mouth, more like the ass.
L
All I’m saying is there’s a lot of nose picking in Chinatown. Is this some kind cultural evil spirit removal technique we don’t know about?.
L
You can be cordial for but so long before you’re forced to ask “You’re that kind of asshole aren’t you?”
L
In prison don’t trust in the lord that you’ll be safe, trust in a cornhole sealant like a wine cork and superior hand to hand combat skills.
L
Categories: Brain Farts - Realtime thoughts from the trenches.
ADD ME!. I’m taking these pages to the next level. Just sit back & enjoy.
http://www.twitter.com/lamottjackson
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L
My J. Crew card limit is $1,060.00. But I’m too fat to fit most of their clothes and max it out like a real American. Obesity – Protecting my finances one bite at a time.
L
What is it about a cat taking a fresh shit that increases it’s running speed from 1.7 to 2000+mph?.
L
It’s funny to see a woman caught in a downpour wearing a fur coat. Acid rain – God’s red paint.
L
My father once told me about an emotionally disturbed person that threw a large plastic grocery bag of feces at the windshield of the train he was driving for the M.T.A. years ago. I couldn’t help but think about not only how much work it took to make a bag taut with poop, but to bring that downstairs, walk the streets with it, paying the fare (ok, that’s a stretch) and waiting on the platform before launching it in to the drivers side window of the train.
-
My friends girlfriend decided to break up with him. She went in to a 15 min tirade about how she hated how he dressed, looked, his occupation as an Electrician (from which he earns a lot of money much of it she loved spending), and how overall inept she felt he was. After she was done, he stood up, and calmly said
“You have a big cunt”
…and walked out.
I don’t think he meant big like a fresh I.V. bag, I think he meant roomy, like the backseat of a 2010 Escalade.
-
Watching the news one night, I saw a report about eye health. They interviewed an Ophthalmologist that was cross-eyed. I laughed like Burt Reynolds circa 1979 the entire 44 seconds he was on screen. That’s as bad as a Dentist with Benny Hill’s teeth…NOW.
-
When I was younger I saw a woman with severe cerebral palsy purchasing a box of condoms…come on, I was 14.
more to come…
L
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