The Official Blog of La Mott Jackson

The stupidest idea ever is being described to sighs and rolling eyes.

A word is being mispronounced and corrected mentally by the listener.

The ear of a cat half sleep downstairs sonars towards the bathroom upstairs as It’s owner does #2.

A child is crying over his birthday cake instead of blowing out the candles, much to the embarrassment of his far more masculine than he should be father.

An Oscar@ sits at home in the bathroom of It’s winner.

A horse is doing a curtsy and doesn’t know it.

One person is calling another an animal while eating Foie gras.

A young impressionable (and slightly retarded) boy witnesses a horse shitting in the woods, then proceeds to do the same.

Someone finally stop caring, and that’s a good thing.

A scar is being created with a story attached that will be modified many times over by the needy person who bears it.

“George Sodini, the loner gunman who shot up a Pittsburgh-area health club injuring 12 women, killing 3 wanted to leave his estimated $225,000 estate to the University of Pittsburgh. He went from shooting cougars to paying Panthers”

God damn why didn’t I think of that?.

GENIUS!. Please check out his column at http://www.flixnjoystix.com look up “Jon the Mick.

10:00: Let the games begin!
10:01: God I hope this is good.
10:02: Kathy Griffin, sexy at 203.
10:03: Speaking of talent out tonight, where’s Don Rickles at?. Carl Reiner’s the only old school person from Joan’s past to show up?.
10:03: When did Kathy start sounding like Harvey Fierstein?
10:05: Run the Montage!, oddly no “Tonight Show” footage is present.
10:07: Please welcome Madam ladies & gentlemen!!
10:08: A nice touch coming out with the pets…I mean kids.
10:09: Nice line of jokes Kathy’s running about Joan.
10:10: Why bleep out “cunt” we already know she smells like one.
10:11: Greg’s up, he’s so good at this. His writing is sick.
10:12: “Beauty & the Deceased”, Golden.
10:13: Greg’s 5 o’clock shadow makes him look like a dirty terrier.
10:14: “Rubber Faced Monsters”.
10:16: “A surprised Catfish” Holy shit that’s funny.
10:16: As always Greg was great, but I’m worried now that he’s gone it’s all down hill from here. We shall see after the break.
10:21: No Michael & Michael have issue commercials please. More Comedy Central Dreck.
10:22: The first woman of the night is up, Mario!
10:23: So hard to believed I LOVED watching this guy on “Steampipe Alley”.
10:24: I know the Betty Davis & Stockard Channing impressions are coming.
10:24: Wow, that Michael Jackson joke tanked Mario. Sorry.
10:25: Why the asskissing to wrap it up. It’s not like Joan has power in the business, she’s dead for God’s sake.
10:26: Tom Arnold……yep (crickets)
10:27: You redid the same joke?. It sucked either way he told it.
10:28: Who’s Whitney Cummings?. With that name I hope she does porn.
10:29: Maybe if Tom ate Rosanne’s ass for a few minutes before he went up his set might have been….adequate, and not the D.N.R. it turned out to be.
10:31: Ugh, Tom ended with a dribbler. Use a wipe please.
10:35: Donald Trump, the millionaire with the hair of a decomposed calico.
10:37: Jeff Ross this man has the face of a wet dog in a Sarah Mclaughlin commercial.
10:39: As always Jeff is killing.
10:41: I love the acknowledgment that Robin Quivers wouldn’t be anything (is she now?) without Howard Stern.
10:42: Can we stop with the “but I kid ladies & gentlemen, she’s a legend & a diva”, ugh, it’s a roast, back peddling isn’t allowed nor needed ya got that?.
10:46: Carl Reiner, He showed up in Black & White.
10:48: Carl’s balls must have more wrinkles than the oldest tree…in Joan’s cunt.
10:50: I think this might be the first Comedy Central Roast where at least two people are wearing Depends, Carl…and Gilbert.
10:51: As soon as Carl said “Cunt”, he lost a lil urine.
10:52: Sudden appearance by Melissa Rivers, hire to the hive mind.
10:54: A trailer for Gamer…when are we gonna stop these “Matrixish” type story lines and come up with something original?
10:58: Brad Garrett is up, Ray Romano’s taint scratcher.
11:00: Isn’t this the part when Brad opens up his chest to show wires & lights?…oh, wrong actor.
11:01: Again with the pandering.
11:06: Robin Quivers, Dark meat, that ONLY likes white meat. And yes, I can talk so fuck ya all.
11:08: An Edgar joke, Bravo R.Q. Gotta give you credit for that one.
11:10: “Loved you in Saw” Nice.
11:11: Whitney who?…is this the piss break?.
11:14: Good “Old Vagina” Joke.
11:19: Don, how the fuck is he not on the dais?. Comedy Central is really retarded.
11:20: Gilbert should bring some serious funny back to this roast.
11:21: LOVE the molester jokes. Yeah, Gilbert’s bringing funny back for shizzle!
11:24: I’m totally in to this story Gilbert’s telling. Hilarious!.
11:26: You know what, I saw the punchline to that Brad Garrett / Mario Cantone joke coming and I still laughed.
11:27: God damn you Gilbert, you fucking killed.
11:31: The vulture of the evening!!
11:33: I knew Joan was gonna kill. God damn she’s amazing with her ole ass.
11:34: SHE IS MURDERING!.
11:35: This is why this woman is a fucking legend.
11:38: Joan for Crossing Guard in 2012!!
11:39: Wow, all that and the only funny standouts were Greg, Gilbert, & Joan.

This was so-so. It could have been a much better roast, more so like the Dennis Leary or Flava Flav ones. When is Comedy Central gonna get proper people to participate in these events.

The dais should have had more old schoolers from her day. They used to roast each other all the time and it was wicked shit. I guess til I one day become a Comedy Central exec I’ll just have to deal with the shit they put together now.

Goodnight Humans, my fingers are tired.